“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”
“no, i said she was fucking goofy”
please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother
"so what are your plans for after college?"
i will dismantle the establishment board by board
I volunteered at an animal shelter yesterday and while I was hosing down the dozenth dirty dog kennel I thought to myself “why am I doing this without pay again?” and then I walked into the room with like 15 kittens in it and they all started meowing at me and I was like, yes, that’s why
"what do you want to do with your life?"
”?!” makes a sound in my head, but I can’t describe what it is.
damnit grandpa it’s 2021, they’re not spiders anymore, they’re arachnid americans and more importantly my friends
Putting on makeup is such a spiritual experience I watch myself go from a 3 to a 9 right in front of my mirror I love it
no, if you are putting on makeup, I don’t care who you are or what you look like, you go from about a 10 to 1
keep talking shit you gonna go from a basic ass 2 to a 6-feet-under
Sometimes I feel like nothing is good enough for tumblr. Disney portrays a strong female character. It’s not good enough because she’s white. Google does something for Elimination of Violence Against Women day. It’s not good enough because it’s not smacked in your face. You have to cherish the little victories, folks. The cup isn’t always half empty.
FINALLY SOMEONE FUCKING SAYS IT
(rips off boobs) now i can wear shirts
haha and then what? ;)